The Day We Discovered Pornography in the Mail - Leontia Flynn

Now that I am back, may the posting streak continue...

The Day We Discovered Pornography in the Mail

I once lived in a rented red-brick house
where everyone signed on and slept till noon.

That summer, the city stood like an open door
into a room where something had just ended,
the wine glasses abandoned in the first dawn light.

Because we were so young and so belated,
because we wanted nothing and expected nobody,
the day we discovered pornography in the mail
was a revelation – it seemed a sudden windfall
or a hoopla tossed, with skill, over the rooftops.

We wanted to kneel with gentle reverence
to the envelope, where it lay behind the door
– or to take it up, like a rose, between our teeth.
We wanted to trace that name through the empty streets;
we wanted to cheer him for making a fist of it.

Make Every Line A Corker

I am aware that it has been a while since my last post, and I could not have picked a more auspicious occasion for my return if I had tried. I may be a few months late but the news is nonetheless shocking; Paul Muldoon has written a poem in which he manages to sneak in a reference to the one and only Snooki. Yes indeed, this is a feat which I could not overlook. Readers, look on in horror and awe...

A Bennington Commencement

In June, Paul Muldoon spoke to graduates of the Bennington College Writing Seminars.

In Oxford this “solemnitie” was called an Act
when baccalaureates were mostly bacchanals
and that the humors reigned was held to be a fact

while God and all His creatures were thought to be pals.
W. H. Auden egged on a Harvard crew
when he was called upon to raise morale

at the ’46 Commencement, lighting the fuse
off his cigarette: “Between the chances, choose the odd;
read The New Yorker; trust in God; and take short views.”

Can’t you imagine Auden shuffling his iPod
as he looks out over the End of the World
in search of something like an Oxford quad

on which a banner may yet be unfurled
that reads “Find What You Love” or “Listen To Your Heart”
or “Get Over Yourself”—any such slogan hurled

between the factions where the battle-lines now part
to reveal our noms de plume as noms de guerre?
The challenge is how to kick-start

ourselves and name some grand ambition shining there
at which we may, albeit briefly, set our caps
before throwing those same caps in the capricious air.

One thought that comes to mind is how to mind the gap
between the world that Auden viewed in ’46
and ours. There was a sense back then the map

might be redrawn to take in post-war politics
both literally and metaphorically.
Our sense now is that we’re in such a fix

the wars we fight are best described as pre-,
since we’re not technically “at war” in Afghanistan,
Iraq, or Libya (where our involvement will be

“brief,” our best President assures us as best he can.)
He also told us Guantánamo would be shut
but it’s as Guantanamobama they’ll spray can

his name should Guantánamo linger as a smut
on corn-fed mid-America and our collective soul,
much like the detention centers with their plywood huts

in which the Japanese were left hanging like scrolls
through World War II. Auden would surely be dismayed
by how Arnold no longer means Matthew on the whole

but Schwarzenegger, who claims that when he played
the “sport” of bodybuilding he used steroids
not for muscle growth but muscle “maintenance.” Having weighed

in before now on the deaths of Yeats and Freud,
Auden would surely want to comment on how shame
has rushed in to fill the unavoidable void

left by compulsive hoarders, losers in every game
from weight loss through loss of face on Facebook
to the housewives who give up their embroidery frames

to embroider the truth with a barbed hook.
Where taloned celebrity has broken up with talent
as in the case of Snooki cocking a snook

at Mavis Cheek and Mavis Gallant
and publishing a tell-all disguised as a freakin’ novel
perhaps the time has come not to try to upset the balance

of low and high where hotel morphs to hovel
but find as Shakespeare found, as Aristophanes found,
that the space where the so-called groundlings grovel

is, in fact, a no less consecrated ground
than the king’s seat, the bishop’s throne, the podium
from which commencement speakers get to sound

off on high fructose corn syrup, low sodium,
and the outmoded hierarchy of academic costume.
Before you turn on me with your odium

theologicum and vote me off the island from the powder room
I urge you to follow your hunches
that noms de guerre are indeed noms de plume

and embrace in your writing high colonics, low punches,
a regard for two-bit shaves and haircuts, for getting back late
from three-martini lunches,

a total disdain for the totally disdaining fourth estate
unless it’s to join it as a fifth column,
to be at sixes and sevens in shooting craps or behind the eight

in rooting for both Gilgamesh and Gollum,
in warding off the latest offensive by Google
on copyright (unless it’s held by them). These, then, are my solemn

admonitions for our “solemnitie” (bugle
and drum roll, please): think outside the frame
unless you’re a photographer; be frugal

in everything but praise; never jump a small claim;
always write “some pig” of the least porker
in the barnyard; remember those who fly far look like fair game;

refuse to pay corkage; make every line a corker;
let your main tactic be tact
and—one constant, if I may—read The New Yorker.